Good news!

Today i am grateful.
I just got back from the doctor's.

The bad rushed robot doctor sucks so bad that he read my blood reports wrong!!!!!!!
After my first meeting with him and his suckage I set up a second opinion appointment with the other OB in the same building. I almost cancelled it a few times but i figured I might as well go and feel out all possible options.

New doctor stood out side of my door flipping through my record, i could hear him. It took him a while.  He was taking his time. Good sign.
He walked in and was warm.
Went through my past with me. Asked questions about Truman.
He said many things that reflected what the specialists advice that i had received through UCSF.
and he explained that my results were in fact negative and maybe the other doctor had read it in a rush.
Had i not gone for another opinion, i can't help but wonder how long i would go on thinking i have a diagnosis that is in fact completely wrong? Would have he ever caught it? Would he have told me?

Jeff is kind of pissed.
My Dad, relieved.
I'm glad that i don't have to fear stroke or heart attack every day for the rest of my breathing life (although i know pre-e people are at a higher risk anyways) and that i don't have to take an aspirin a day when i am not pregnant.

He said what my MFM fellow said "go ahead, get pregnant, we'll start aspirin at 12 weeks and take it one step at a time."

So.
Glad that stressor is over.
One less thing to worry about. Even though i know more then anyone that there are still no guarantees, at least it's one less odd against us.
Not stoked that i was put through a scary false diagnosis. But today i'm feeling more grateful then anything.
sending some love back out to all of those who are reading this.

I put up Truman's christmas tree today. I felt him with me through out the day.
Jeff and I went swimming after the appointment and I thought about him as we swam our laps. I think he would have loved the water as much as everyone else in his family does. We are all a bunch of fish. i thought about my pregnancy swim days, twice a week, him and i got to swim together. I will always cherish that time in the pool with him and those memories.

I got home and there was a message from a friend.
Her daughter was born about 10 hours after Truman and I LOVE looking at pictures of her. She makes me feel connected to Truman for some reason. His little birthday buddy. She gives my imagination the room to watch and think about what Tru would be doing at this point in life.
My friend said she heard this song today and it reminded her of Truman. It touched my heart.