It's sort of crazy how something so happy and hopeful can make you long and miss even harder.
Jeff was even quiet and emotional today.
It's just so complex.
I can tell he is waiting for something bad to happen. more so then he is excited. which is sad.
Coming to realize that our first experience- our only experience- with parenthood is scarred. and we are gun shy from having our heart shattered into millions of little pieces. We have nothing else to go off of.
We truly are feeling around in the dark.
++++
I'm definitely going to have to tell my boss. The exhaustion is overwhelming this time around. I don't want her to think i just stopped caring.
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