The Memorial and Color

I hit a creative burst today.
It felt SO good to get creative and was very healing.
I am starting a greeting card line and can not wait to share my creations with everyone.

This weekend was Truman's memorial. I am still recovering from it.
It was a beautiful day, one that I will remember forever.
It was a beautiful day for Humboldt county, the sun warmed us all afternoon until the fog rolled in around 4:30pm.

The ceremony was beautiful, it was just what we wanted and needed.
My Dad wrote the ceremony and we just paid a woman to read it for us, so even though he wasn't physically here with us for the memorial, his words were.

Jeff designer Truman's wreath with sunflowers, moss, succulents and mums. I chose the last of the summer dahlias (in orange and red) to symbolize his Leo-ness.
The food was delicious. After dusk we all took our flying lanterns out to the beach and it was so much fun.

It was touching to dedicate all the lanterns to the babies that have left us too soon.... along with many lanterns for our Truman.

It was an amazing day. I had hoped that it would live up to be just a fraction as special as Truman was, as a tribute. I think we accomplished that.

I loved hanging out with some friends. I felt so very proud of Truman and felt very close to him all day long.

My friend Kayla said something to me that keeps echoing in my mind over and over. We were sitting in my house playing with her 4 month old baby girl and she said something like, "This is a family house. Truman prepared you in every way for a family, and just because you can't see him doesn't mean that that has changed." I felt a release when see said it for some reason. I felt so validated. This is a family house. I am a mother and I have a son. Its not the normal situation but nothing in my life has ever been normal. It may be hard for some people to understand because they can't see my son but it is our reality.

She also told me about her sister's friend. She was 35 weeks and pre-eclamptic. No one caught it. She seizured and her and the baby both died. Even though it is so sad to hear, it made me realize how lucky I am to be alive. Even if I am sad and saturated with grief, its important for me to make the most of everyday. You never know when you body will give up on you and it will be your last.

Once the visitors left and the house was back to ours, I felt a rush color come back into my mind.
A sort of partial awakening. Part of my brain that had been asleep for at least 6 months decided to wake up.

10/15/11 Truman's Memorial Lantern from Laura Beck on Vimeo.